glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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