Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I will pee on everything he values.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
lol hangovers are for mortals.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
