She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
