I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Someone shit on the floor
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Randomize
