Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Randomize
