i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Randomize
