yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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