I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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