Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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