that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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