I can tuck mytits in my pants
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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