his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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