I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
