you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
