Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
