Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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