We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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