This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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