No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Randomize
