I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
