its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Randomize