Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
