apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize