dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
