If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
