You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
is wine microwaveable?
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Randomize
