she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
