You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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