This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
