Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
