Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Let's get the cat blown out
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
