Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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