There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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