Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
