i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
