...so i touched it.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize