her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I believe in your delicious
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
