shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
