i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
