I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
