when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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