Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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