Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
