I think i sorta joined a cult last night
one might say we're banned from that church
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
MIDGETS
????
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
