You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
