Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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