Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize