PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
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