So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Randomize
