This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
