Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
