you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
