omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
