Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
