but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
