Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I would fuck him just for his dog
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
