You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
My legs feel like baby dolphins
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
