Those balls look pretty dangerous.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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