I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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