I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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