just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Randomize
