i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Randomize