I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
