Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Will exercising make me less horny?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
